the Hyper Post on Various Pastimes While Listening to Music in the Car and Musings on that Crack in the Car Seat

I don't have a whole lot of news, but I do have a few funny stories. Once, we (meaning us kids) were sitting in the car waiting for our parents to come out of the building and drive us to church and there was some music on, so naturally we decided to pretend to play the instruments in the song and anyways, we were all playing our separate instruments, I was playing the drums, and because it was sort of a rock song we were all flailing our instruments, when one of the scary, colossal, towering, ancient single guys who lives upstairs came out of the building and all my siblings stopped immediately, but no one told me and I didn't notice cause it is hard to see anything when you have pushed all your hair over your face and are pretending to bang frantically on imaginary drums and cymbals and things all the time pretending to be screaming along with the CD, of course, luckily I wasn’t actually screaming, just pretending to. Whoa, was that all one sentence or what?! I have some unique skills! Ok, somebody is a TINY BIT HYPER RIGHT NOW!!!!! Back to the story. I finally realized that my accompaniment had ceased so I looked up saw the scary, colossal, towering, ancient single guy and promptly melted into a big pile of Jello and slithered down in that crack between the seat where your pencils and favorite rings and anything that happens to be in your pocket when you were twisting around in your seat to thumb wrestle or play rock, paper, scissors with your sibling in the back row, always falls into. Ya know what I mean? And yes, I realize that was only one funny story, not a few. But that’s just too bad for you; I’ll get around to it later.

Madeleine returns

Dear readers (I've always wanted to say that),
I have finally returned from that place called I've-been-really-busy-with-school-and-yes-I-know-the-blog-needs-to-be-updated! I hope you're glad to see me.

I'll tell you about art class first since it's been happening the longest. Back when the school year started, I got signed up to take an art class at the public high school because it is supposed to have a really good art program. The art class that I wanted to take (Drawing 1) is a first period class, so I take the bus or carpool there and my mom or dad picks me up at the end of the class period. Actually, I've only ridden the bus once since another seminary kid goes to Parkway and his dad or mom drives us both there. Art class is very enjoyable and mostly relaxing. For art, I get up three days a week at 6:45, which is nearly torture for a homeschooler who is used to getting up whenever she pleases! then I stagger around getting dressed and brushing my teeth. Every morning, Elise moans and groans; usually she's only half awake and seems to have forgotten what I'm doing and where I'm going. "...uhuhh..Madeleine, why are you getting up?..[deep sigh]...why do you do this every day?....[cough]....where are you going?...huuhhhumm..ahhr.." She thinks she has it tough... By the time I leave my room to eat breakfast, I am relatively alive and able to speak in full sentences. I eat until 7:30 when Frank and his mom or dad leave for school[side note: Frank is very interesting in the mornings]. Once we arrive at the school, I journey the long hallways to the classroom; I always feel kind of bare walking through the school hallways since I don't have an enormous, sagging backpack like everyone else. During class, I like to watch people and listen to them talk. Sometimes the girls at my table talk to me a little. They're not unfriendly, and they always talk to me if I talk to them. I don't talk a lot-- I hope that doesn't make me look stuck-up. Usually, I'm sleepy. And when you are sleepy, it's easier to just watch people and listen to them than to actually talk to them. I talk a little more now than I did before. One nice girl asked me if I found it difficult to be around people since I was homeschooled. I said, “Do you think I act like I do??” in a slightly nervous, questioning tone of voice and she laughed and said no. At the end of class I sit by the school entrance and wait for my mom or dad to pick me up in our new blue van (the cockroach/coffeebean Previa died last month). It's almost the end of the semester and this is a one semester class. I want to take Advanced Drawing next semester, but it's a second period class and it wouldn't work out with my Thursday classes. So...I'd better enjoy it while it lasts.

My mom was going to the grocery store last week and I thought I'd escape the apartmental claustrophobia by doing schoolwork in the car while she shopped. Actually, I ended up exploring the dashboard area of our new van-- it was just way more interesting than logic or biology. I noticed that the steering wheel didn't have a button to press for the horn like our old car did, so I thought I would kind of gently press all around the center of the wheel to see if I could find it. I found the horn. It was a short honk, but embarrassing nonetheless. But worse was yet to come. The honk cured my interest in the dashboard for a while, but I got bored again and wanted to open the car door and get some fresh air (I was in a very safe, suburban grocery store parking lot). I thought I could just flip the lock on my door to open it, but I was wrong. The car must have had a built in security system because even though the lock was flipped, the door wouldn't open. Also, the car alarm went off. If you have never been inside a car whose alarm is going off, I can tell you that you haven't missed much. It is truly startling when it first goes off, but you gradually get used to the way the horn is fraying your nerve ends and battering your eardrums. But that's not all you suffer. At first, you wonder what the wealthy suburbanites in those shiny SUV s are thinking-- “Will they think I broke into the car? Will they call 911? Or will they scorn me as a stupid kid who's never been in a car with an alarm system?” Then you realize that everyone who passes by looks at you and grins a little because car alarms go off all the time and no one pays any attention. Anyway, if a person had really broken into a car and set off the alarm, they wouldn't be sitting stiffly in the passenger seat and avoiding eye contact. Well, eventually the alarm stopped. Then my mom came back and I had to tell her what I'd done. It was truly and experience. And I guess I taught those suburbanites that not everyone has been privileged enough to grow up with alarm systems on their minivans.

Elise's New Lovebird

A wonderful thing has happened! I got a bird! “He” (we just guessed because it's really hard to tell) is really really cute and he likes people a lot.(his name was Jet, the lady who raised the lovebirds in her house called him that because he was the first of his siblings to fly, I named him Pip or Pippin) The reason he likes people is because my bird was hand fed since he was really little, so Pip likes being with people, sitting on their shoulder, etc. Because I got him so young, (he's 3 months) he sees me as “mommy” I am really enjoying having a bird but there are a few things I could do without, such as him waking me up at seven thirty every morning without fail. It's annoying but I'm supposed to get up at seven thirty anyways and it's an improvement on when I first got him. Pip would get me up at six thirty, until I stopped taking him out no matter how loud he was (lovebirds have very loud screams, plus he climbs all over the cage rattling the bars). Another thing is that it is pretty much impossible to potty train birds, and lets just say that birds have to go a LOT more than humans! Plus for some strange reason it freaks Madeleine out to find bird poop on her sheets, weird huh? Besides being an alarm clock, he bites occasionally, but it isn't to bad, it's sort of like a puppy, Pippin loves to chew on everything and still doesn't understand that fingers aren't chew toys. Since we never get around to buying REAL toys for him to chew here is a list of the odd things he loves chewing:

1.my hair bands (I can't keep them on my wrist anymore or he'll mangle them)
2.cord from my jewelry kit
3.anything cardboard, including cereal boxes
4.fingers :o
5.my nose (it makes your eyes water)
6.any earrings I happen to be wearing
7.my ears
8.my elastic watchband
9.string
10.anyone's toes (especially with nail polish)

There are lots of great things about having a bird though. One of my favorite things is when he's tired, he cuddles up against my neck, poofs up his feathers, sleepily peeps a few times and then takes a little nap. Sometimes I fall asleep too :) Pip also likes to climb up and down the string on the venetian blinds while I'm doing school. I know, I can't figure out how he holds on! I strung a few ropes across my desk so he can climb back and forth across it. Yes, I don't get very much school done very fast but it's really fun. It is really nice having a little creature that likes you and relies on you and comes running (or flying) when it's scared to get cuddles. I can hear him squawking for me so I'll have to go now (we had one nearly disastrous doo doo near the keyboard so birdie is now grounded from the computer :) Sorry about all these parentheses, -Elise :{-

More on Babysitting, My Midnight Snack, and Running in the Rain

It's a really wonderful thing to babysit. (Almost) all the kids think that I'm just about the coolest person ever. Some will run up and give me hugs when they see me, others will wave and yell frantically, worried that I might not notice them. How flattering. This is a good time to pay tribute to my old babysitters. A lot of my best memories are of them and what they did with us. They were fun and awesome because they played with us, listened to us, and really seemed to enjoy being with us. I'm realizing that that's what I am to some kids! Kids are easy to please; I can be really cool and fun without trying hard, but it's still kind of shocking and sometimes pressuring! Will they still think I'm cool? Not exactly peer pressure...
My midnight snack wasn't actually at midnight. And it wasn't dramatic. I didn't witness anything horrifying or amazing (no murders or flying frogs) and I really didn't do anything interesting. To tell the truth, I think the only reason I want to tell about it is that life here is like life anywhere else--boring. So when anything slightly out-of-the-ordinary or unusual happens... let's blog about it! (some of you might like to hear about what ordinary life is like. more on that later.) With that thrilling, deeply meaningful introduction, let me begin (since it actually isn't very dramatic, understand that extra drama will be added.)
It was a dark and stormy night. As I walked back from my babysitting job, I had no thought in mind other than the fervent hope that I would make it back to my apartment building unmauled. Although I was only a few yards away from my building, rabid bats were known to haunt those parts! I crept cautiously through the darkness, pausing at the rustle of leaves, the hoot of an owl, and the cry of the coyote. I finally made it safely home, never mind how, and managed to make my way to the bedroom and bathroom. I had made all the necessary preparations for bed, indeed was lying safely in that same bed, when a blood-chilling thought occurred to me! My only sustenance that night had been a small bowl of cream of tomato soup, the kind that comes in a can!! And although my body was tired, my mind fogged, my senses numbed, I staggered out of bed, straggled down the hallway and finally landed in the kitchen. How I made it those final few inches, I know not. My amazing inner sense of direction must have guided me. Rousing my final reserves of energy, I pulled open the fridge, and made myself a sandwich. And not just any sandwich! It had not only ham, but pepperoni also! You may well marvel at my amazing achievement. Plus, it had horseradish. Wait till you hear what I did next. I poured a glass of milk--AND DRANK IT!! Then I had to brush my teeth again and I went to bed. The end. One may well wonder where my parents were during this harrowing tale of brave deeds and desperate means. The truth is, they left after I went to bed. I know, can you believe it!?

Now, what happened.

One Thursday evening, I got home from babysitting and went to bed. while I was lying in bed, my parents left. Don't ask where they were, don't know. Then I was hungry because I had only drank some tomato soup in a hurry before I left for my babysitting job. I got up and made a sandwich and ate it with some milk. then I "brushed my teeth and went to bed."

Which story sticks to the facts? Which story is more interesting? That is for you to answer, for that I do not know (actually that's not strictly true...)

And this morning I went running in a light drizzle with my mom. It was refreshing and invigorating--after I was done:p I felt awful while I was doing it. Now I should probably close but I said I would write on ordinary life. Ooooo, I forgot to tell about my audition. Well, those will have to wait for another time! I'll see how many comments of tortured suspense I get. "Oh, Madeleine, please write more! I'm dying to hear about everyday life!"

March 30, 2009

The weather here is really weird! All of last week, we thought that spring had come, because it was so warm. Then, yesterday, we woke up and there was an inch of snow outside! Today, it looks like spring again (all the snow has melted). Me and Daddy started fixing up the patio and planting flowers the last couple of weeks. We had to get rid of most of the soil though because it was mostly clay and gravely stuff. We finally got around to planting just a few days ago. One neat thing is that we kids get to have a little garden of plants under each of our windows. Daddy said we should plant tall flowers because then we can see them out of the window. I am going to make mine especially nice. One other thing is that I get to watch our neighbors dog, Sandy for a while during their vacation. It is lots of fun, I have to walk her three times a day. It's almost like owning a dog! Thomas had his birthday, he got lots of cool stuff, I will let him tell you about that. Sadly, it looks like it is going to rain right now, that is annoying, because it seems like the ground hasn't been dry in forever. It gets really muddy here when it rains. A really cool thing is that tomorrow we are going to Kansas City for a family vacation! Actually it is more because Daddy has some work there, but we are turning it into a vacation. We are meeting up with the Lagaspys (some friends of ours) and staying at this hotel with a HUGE water park!!!!! I can't think of anything else to write about right now. ~Elise

Squeezed out of Thomas

1. We had three snow days of sledding.
2. I have two loose teeth.
3. A family from Hungary moved onto campus with two boys that are near my and Paul's ages.
4. I finished my 2nd grade workbooks and I get to go to Oberweis for ice cream tonight.
5. I started having piano lessons. I like playing the piano.
6. We made a tower out of blocks that is taller than Daddy.
7. We made forts in the woods with our friends.
8. The pond froze and we played fox & geese on it. It was fun.
9. I got a Webkinz that is a tiger. I named him Tigy.
10. We got a new computer and a laptop for Christmas.

Words From Madeleine

Dear blog readers, this letter is from an imaginary person to another imaginary person. If you see someone you know in it, then you are hallucinating or something (lol). I had to write it for my weekly communication class and had to add certain adverbs, adjectives, sentence openers, etc.. So if anything sounds forced, it was not my choice but the will of another (my teacher). Without further ado, let the letter be read!

Dearest Victoria,
I hope that this letter, written in haste, finds you well and that you are enjoying your time abroad. Although I am enjoying my classes at the Academy, I miss you and wish for your return. For your sake, I am extremely glad that you are not here to witness my energetic, rowdy brothers, who have been getting into shocking mischief lately. Thankfully, I will be able to show you my precious kitten since you will be back soon. I anticipate your return!
Harold and Nicholas have been getting in the most shocking and improper mischief these days. For some reason, they are absurdly fond of practical jokes which others do not find at all amusing. Happily, they will replace sugar with salt, balance buckets of water on doors, and place frogs on pillows if they can only get a laugh. Although their tutor, very young and quite handsome, discourages their activities, they continue to behave like wild Indians. It is dreadful. Armed with extra servants, we will be traveling to the seaside next week, with the hope that the fresh air and open space will quickly tire and keep them out of their shocking mischief.
I have been enjoying my classes at Miss Primply's Academy for Young Ladies of Gentility. Currently, my courses are art with Madame Fussebugette, back from holiday in France, music and drawing with Lady Spinster, composition and embroidery with Miss Primpy, and deportment with Duchess Winters. For our annual Academy outing, we traveled to Highest Hill Park, which has many excellent picnic grounds. Since the carriage ride was simply dreadful, it was and enormous relief to arrive. During the luncheon, we conversed on subjects such as balls and new dresses . I wish you had been present. You would have loved it. I will be happy when you are once again taking classes at Miss Primpy's Academy with me.
Mama has finally allowed me to purchase a kitten! Can you believe it? Since we do not have a cat, I bought it from Lady Thompson's daughter's best friend's aunt's cousin, who has twelve Persian cats. Scheherazade, my kitten, is a dear. Thankfully, my maid Annabelle, keeps her well-groomed and clean. For all Scheherazade's merits, she has an unfortunate but not unusual tendency to not use her litter box, although it is from Paris and very expensive. Comforted by my care, Scheherazade has quickly adjusted, and I thank Mama daily for my precious pet.
I hope you enjoy the remainder of your tour. At the Academy, currently very boring due to your absence, my classes will be much less dull and dreary upon your return. Hopefully, Harold and Nicholas, whose behavior has not yet improved, will have finished their malevolent mischief by that time, and we will be able to admire and enjoy my darling Scheherazade in peace. When you return, we shall have a garden party to celebrate if the weather is suitable. Please bring me a souvenir.
With Much Love,
Nora Augusta Ferncliff

The Great Squirrel War by Elise

I have had many problems keeping squirrels out of my bird feeder. Since I have always liked birds I experimented many times. When I had to buy a new and expensive feeder, which did not work very well, I got pretty mad at those squirrels. Luckily, it all turned out okay as you will see. Reading this report will hopefully be very interesting.
I have always liked birds. When I finally got a bird feeder, an old used one, I was very excited. Finding the bird feeder in the woods, I got some seed and set it up right outside my window, waiting for the birds to come. For one great and wonderful week, everything went fine. Then the squirrels came! Unfortunately, the wide variety of birds, which I had been enjoying, quickly disappeared. This was very frustrating now, there were almost no birds, and even less birdseed! What should I do? I was sad, I had liked watching the birds very much.
I decided that I would have to buy a squirrel proof feeder. So I did. What was annoying was the fact that the $30, “squirrel proof” feeder wasn't squirrel proof. Frustrated, I wondered how to make the squirrels leave. Despite my everlasting efforts at scaring them, the squirrels, smarter than I thought, continued to sneak up on the full feeder whenever my back was turned. I experimented, knocking and yanking open the window surprised them the first few times and then they got used to it. When I took down the suet, which the birds and squirrels loved, even less birds came, especially the woodpeckers. The thing that was really annoying was that I had bought a new feeder for nothing.
I was really mad at those squirrels. Literally driving me up the wall the squirrels stubbornly continued foiling all my attempts to keep them away! Although I tried putting duck tape over the crack in the feeder, which they were eating out of, it was too cold for the duck tape to stick well and the squirrels simply ripped it off. On the pole, which was how they got to the bird feeder, I smeared petroleum jelly. That stopped them for two days. Finally my dad suggested that I shoot lemon juice in their eyes with a squirt gun. As a kid he had done this when biking through a mean dog's yard. An improvement on my silly plan of borrowing a Beebe gun! As you can seeI was getting a bit obsessive about the whole squirrel thing. Hooray! The lemon juice worked. The problem, it was about 42 degrees outside. When I opened the window everyone else complained. When I stuffed the half-opened window with towels, everyone still complained and I would wake up at six thirty A.M. to a squirrelly noise outside.
At last, I found a good feeder. I was no longer mad at the squirrels. Revenge is sweet and long lasting as I watch them attempting to infiltrate my feeder. Ha ha ha! I finally bought a feeder that actually worked! As the birds are cautious about the new bird feeder, an unusual looking one, I still have a bit of a wait before victory is complete, but I am happy. Watching birds is still one of my favorite things to do and I am enjoying it in a squirrel free environment. No more squirrels! They can be very annoying. Now they're gone! Sadly, there is no such thing as a squirrel proof suet feeder, but that is the only thing which mars my joy. Who knows, maybe I'll invent one someday!